and again... dissapointed

I cant complain about my life until certain point: both of my parents are alive and loving me, I have a wonderful family who cares about me more than what I care about them, I still have a job (I hate it but what can I do!?) and Im alive! yeah! wohoo! great...

But I have loved, and I have been loved, twice, ad far as I can consider myself of being loved, well, no, actually 3 times but one of those was when I was just too young to have it into consideration lolz! anyways... the people who know me, knows they way I get attached to people, the way I give myself to others, how much can I worry to make anothers happy and completely forget about myself, how can I sacrifize my happiness or wellbeing for others, and people who actually know me, also knows how many times I've been betrayed, dissapointed, and how many times I have just been "a good friend" or some toy to play with...

And yeah I know I just could send to hell to all those motherfuckers, assholes, bastards that have betrayed me, dissapointed me, and played with me, I could just pay attention to the people that care about me, that thinks about me and its just maybe dying for your care and attention, but u know? I cant, I just and simply cant, its like... I dont even know seriously...

Sometimes I wish I couuld have a "people repelente" so like that I could be less hurted, less unconsidered...